craps..as usual

Hey ho. As usual, during the hols id be crapping a lot here. because i just have nothing else to do. right, i should be studying. :D today's agenda was balik kampung..hehe. honestly? my leg hurts, and i just dread the fact that i have to go to any kenduris, anything that involves walking. u see my toe is completely swollen, bibik says probably my nail will go off after sometime, but its going to hurt a lot. yeah, bapak's nicer today about the whole injury thing. but i still cnt imagine going to bnm like this. what if someone step on it? huhu. maybe i shud just leave belle to go alone with her "neighbour" *evil smile*. but yeah, i spent the time at the kenduri just nw watching so that no one steps on it. but yeah, someone still stepped on it..two times. haha. yeah2. its my fault anyway, so i hv no right to complain. anyway, everyone's watching the badminton tournament dwnstairs. they said the gov is going to give that guy a million if he wins the gold medal. but im up here just browsing the net and waiting for someone to be on9, bcoz i feel so guilty for making that person wait yesterday. feel really bad.
well, today's journey back to sabak bernam made me think about....love. why? well, throughout the journey, i watched my parents. somehow, i dunno, they dont seem to be a perfect couple. when mama was trying to make a joke, bapak takes it so seriously. they were a bit..harsh to each other when we lost our way. its so not like in the movies. and i wonder, (i knw its bad) why did the agreed to marry each other in the first place?
and by dinner it turned out that peace was restored. yeah, they teamed up to badger me to try to apply to oxford or cambridge. :p you knw what conclusion i made? there's a lot to learn about love. i mean, when i was little, ill read all these fairy tales from the bookshelves, and the stories seem to portray such ideal love stories. the beatiful princess saved by the knight in the shining armour and it always ends with.."happily ever after.."
but then when i watch my parents..i see love as more than that. it takes a lot to hold onto a relationship and to keep believing in it. and yeah maybe it sounds easy when we say how two lovers accept each other the way they are, but its not as simple as that, i think. and it really takes a lot to reach where my parents are right now, i think. i mean theyve been together like..24 years i think, they still fight sometimes, they still annoy each other sometimes, but they still love each other.
looking at them, i think theyre two lucky people, to be able to find someone they can trust that much. i mean its easy to trust people with the good values you have, but to trust a person and let him or her know you inside out is not that easy. i dunno, if it is for me, to have a person knowing me completely inside out probably would freak me out a little bit...fine, a lot actually. maybe because if one day that person leaves you, you'd just feel rejected completely. but u see, if a person knows just some parts of you, and he or she leaves, maybe it wont hurt that much because like hey, he or she doesnt knw me you that much, right? haha does it make sense? i dunno.
so i guess my conclusion is love..is a big commitment. and to be able to really love someone that much, gives you a lot, but then it costs a lot too. and honestly? thts the thing that really makes me look up on my parents. for their abilty to love each other so truly.
like this some saying i heard somewhere, "Love is easy to find, but to find a person who loves someone truly and to be loved back the same way is hard."
right.......i shud stop crapping now. and i found this pic in the net. i like it. i dunno y. : ) later..nite.