i hate driving class!

anger + frustration
unfortunately today, i hv driving class. it's my second lesson, d first one ws bout 1 month ago. so, obv my skills dh 'brkarat'. lst lesson, horrible. my instructor askd me to drive bck home all by myself. it wsn't dat bad until we gt lost n ends up wandering around shah alam. jz imagine, it took us 1hr to reach my house from sec25. plus, d evnt happnd at 5pm, where ppl gt bck fr work, n there ws lots lots of car on d road..it ws raining, d acc didn't work..at traffic lights, d car cnnt start fr a fw times, ppl were honking cz its already green. it ws a cmplete disaster! i hate my instructor, fr letting me drove d car( hey, i nvr drive a car before!!) luckily, arrived safely at my house.

suddenly, today they said "we'r goin to hv a 3hrs lesson". he showed me hw to do d side parking once, then he askd me to try it by myself agn, without hs supervision cz knnnye..he hs something to do elsewhere. " hello!!i paid for d lesson okay. so do ur job properly la.."i ddn't said it out loud la...hehe..bt it wnt like ds " i don't knw hw to do it. teach me agn". instead of doin d side thingy, he gv me a note on hw to do d side parking n he left. wth-so freaking mad! stil don't knw a thing, my 'beloved' instructor at last hd to start from scratch agn..pdn muke!haha..hey, i'v paid so he must teach me elok2. d whole 3hrs ws tiring, i managed to learn all d 3 things fr d test. at d end of d class, i hd to drive agn. hmm, better this time..but stil hv probs at d traffic lights. overall, it was okay, i learnt something at least. some improvement from d previous clas. my arms n legs soars at d moment. d steering ws heavy n i hv to hold d clutch for quite a while=contribute to PAIN!

i'm afraid to drive

wher am i??

omg,ds is scary..i'm alone on d road

-love, belle-

Leave Me Alone For The Time Being : )

Don't wanna talk about him anymore. Just wanna shut up. Don't ask me why.

pictures of you pictures of you again

devastatingly tired.cramp feet.sore hands.well we started our so called tour after lunch.yes they were so excited-jolly.and i was.i was practically sleepy.as usual.

the miserable phonebooth caught my eyes.nicely done guys and now it is obvious.gee.the event was so so simple.and yes he was nice 'very cute and clean' according to my mom. no comment. looks underage to me.i was aiming fr the clock behind him.eventually the cam grabbd him instead.

not long after that.i was beginning to feel damn.bored.

the gallery was close.

disgusted by the fact i tried to open the gate.but to no avail.th pakcik guard spottd me.and so i ran.

tengok dari jauh je lahh

tough luck when you have me as your ultimate tour guide.i bet quietly they say m bloody crazy.well i was absolutely bored.

arine dear.no matter hw hard youre trying to avoid me from telling th truth about whats going on.i will apparently know it tomorrow.bla lah you tak nak cerita.hey you guys should stop with al ths nonsense hullabaloo melodrama.look at me.happy and care-free.wee.

-qyn

a no no to ice lemon teas

alas.we arrived kuala safely.currently in th resort and everyone is asleep.except my brothr who is making weird giggles outside atm.well we went fr dinner just now.and ohh did i evr mention that neta and her husband are joining us too.well yes they are here with us.semata-mata hendak menikmati pemandangan indah college malayu.which is clearly-extremely devastating to me.well hello.no serene picturesque views in mc.no no no.ohh there is a big tree tho.an old one too.forcefully forced by my mom to follw them as their tour-guide.fine.so we went fr dinner today and neta wanted an ice lemon tea.so my dad said to th girl 'adik kasi itu ice lemon tea satu' then she replied instantly 'ohh tidak ada pakk' then i said 'what th-tak kan takde kot' then intelligently my mom said 'adik itu teh-o-ais limau ade tak' then she said with a wide assuring smile 'ohh itu.ada ada berapa mau itu air' i laughed and laughed.she is being miserably cute.reminds me of that ridiculous indon movie bele rented me.to bir best of luck tomorrow.i know you will do great in your icis exam.introduction to computer and information system.woah.and i am proud of you fr being amazingly busy and leaderishh.go go bir.to bele dear one advice to you since you are suffocating this rainy season of yours.hiperbole.much exaggerating there.wee bit of crazy but here: you should love as though you never been hurt before.omg

if you dont like

something

change it.

if you cant change it

change your

attitude

attitude

attitude

other than that

dont complain.

-qyn

i am through

did all the packing.ohh man.going bac already.tomorrow we are all heading straight to kuala kngsar.visiting my little adik.i am going to miss the late night chats and phone calls.and i am goin to miss my room.sighs.bac to businees ppl.i learn today that you should never let belle call you if it isnt because of some shocking news she just heard frm her little sister.ohh new gossips always belle.she is always on time.tell you what belle.lets make up a new name fr him.no no no slut is too evil.and thanks fr waking me up.gosh 2 pm.wel i desrve every minute as i slept very very late talking on th phone with max.yeahh i miss her and she misses me and we miss college life.came across this survey while typing this

most missed memory: vals birthday surprise by point fives goo goo girls
relationship status: married
current song playing: im yours jason mraz
someone always on your mind: no time.wth
would you ever go back in time: yes.i should nvr have eaten that cake
shoe size: apparently i have huge feet.six
last person you saw: mom
one secret: i hate this survey
your bedtime: i dont sleep
favorite scent: new cars
last time you cried: woa quite a while really i cant recall
biggest fears: scholarships
contacts/glasses: both.depends
favorite place to be: bilik arine yang serene.no offence belle bilik you jauh (:
get along with your parents: today big big yes
do well in school: ask my peers
wanna get married: i am
families names: qynod.qyna.qyn.adik
ever been in love: i dont understand th question (:
ever smoked: no
ever drank: no lahh idiot
favorite magazine: miserable ones with politicians on its front cover (:
regret anything: huge yes
hate anyone: yes yes yes
music you listen to: th unpopular indies.pops.slow ones
do you belive in god: yes
two people you miss: mumy vee and ferragamo shen
have you ever felt butterflies: never.fine.yes yes
dumped someone: ouch.yes m afraid so
favorite sport: swimg.rgby
where is your ex: sevn feet undr
are you spoiled: ohh that.no no
current mood: partially elated
shower daily: daily ablutions.yes lahh
last movie you watched: rule one with bele.stupid movie
the weather: fine
tattoos: big no no
piercings: three
first concert: my kindy graduation concert.yes thats th first (:
last person you saw: mom mom mom
last car you were in: mom's
do you like to party: depends
out of state this month: no but i will in may.yeay
hair length: posh
currently eating: no dont make me do that
what is your dad's first name: ahmad
are your parents still married: yes
do you have any siblings: two brothers
who is your favorite relative: my crazy cousins and nenek darling
who are your best friends: lots
do you have a favorite friend: everyone is
who do you hang out with the most: bir.bele.the usuals
what do you do with your friends: camwhoring.making delicate screams every nw and then
who's your funniest friend: vee
who's your cutest friend: no cute ones.pretties and hotties definitely
who's your loudest friend: bir
who's your craziest friend: bele gila
do you hang out more with your friends or family: friends fr now
single or Taken: married (:
do you like anyone: ohh not anymore.kann bele?
how long was your longest relationship: a minute.or is it two
why did your last relationship end: why do you wna know
do you want to have kids: lets not talk about this just yet
describe your perfect guy/girl: a no no to gays
can you speak any other languages: french.russn.mimicks of indons(:
what is your middle name: hafiza
do you look like any celebrities: collin farrll.channg tatum
have you ever been arrested: fr making severely loud noises with my brother.yes
have you ever dated 2 or more people at the same time: woah never
how much money is in your wallet currently: dont make me count.no time
can you drive: no
can you cook anything: arine's brahmin.i mean brahims
what is your dream job: soccer star.th prime minister.but no.i will go fr docs or scientist
what are you doing this weekend: study study
what's one interesting fact about you: i am not married

-qyn

~happy~

went to sunway pyramid last week with my family. it's a public holiday, so my mum said "whydon't we go buy ur notebook". at last! she's finally letting me hv one. "yeay!":)
actually, i already knw wt notebook i wnt. i said "i wnt apple, d latest model". then, she came up with all sort of reasons, "apple is nt compatible, i hv a friend who bought apple n she cn't use it, it's too expensive, blabla..."wnt on n on. fine..spent an entire hour browsing thru d digital centre. d fight begin agn ;

me : i don't wnt acer. it's bulky n heavy. plus i don't like d design

my mom : u'r always like dat. u jz look at d outside. check out wt thy hv inside.

me : it's all d same inside.. (stil backing my view)

start browsing agn, leaving d fight behind. finally, we both agree on sumthing. "i think dis one is ok. do you like it?"...i wnt "yeah, it's nice..okla, we buy ds one". hooray!;p well, here's my tablet pc. tadaa..

hehe..i love it:)

dat dy didn't end there.

mom : u stil want to buy hr camera??

dad : erm..yeah, why not?i don't mind.

yeay!i'm getting a camera. ds must b my lucky day..love ya, dad! wnt to d lowest floor. check out fw stores, like my mom said " jz to compare". i don't care bt my feet is aching. my mistake act, lesson 1: do nt wear high heels if u'r wlking for 5 freaking hours..ouch! hah..relievd, gt my camera. happy, happy, happy!(nt my feet dfinitely..huhu)

my new camera;p

wnt back home. pheew..exhaustd!

dt nite, out my eagerness, i startd installing things into my notebook. until,suddenly..it cnnt startup. damn!wt hv i done. d whole nite, i tried bt fail instead. up to 3 am, i gave up.

d next day, wnt agn to sunway pyramid..but ds time with qyna n my dad. first thing, to d digital centre! i found out dat i hv corrupt d files..or something like dt. they hv to reformat it agn. my dad waitd there. as for me n qyna, shopping!

no la.. nt exactly shop-ping. bought movie tickets. couldn't dcide wat to watch either horton hears a who or rule1??wt rule agn..? we asked d girl at d counter bout d mvie..n she said, GHOST. exchaged glances with qyna..then, "ok..2 tickets fr rule1( 2pm)"

the hot officer:)

one of d ghost..there were lots of ghost in d movie*_*

while waiting fr d mvie to start, bought our lunch n pray. came in 5 minutes late..n it startd already. omg, we were terrified. no wondr its 18pl..me n qyna could nt even lookd at d screen. so scary! aftr 10 minutes..

qyna : lets go out!but it's $10 each.bodoh la..(hide hr face behind hr wrapz)

me : (lookd at my watch..)we wait until 3, then we go out

finally i hv d guts to watch d movie..aftr half an hour i guess. hey, it's nt dt bad..d sound effect made it so takut! we watchd d movie till d end though. i cn say out loud " QYNA n BELLE R VRY BRAVE"..hehe..bt i still don't gt it, y 6 ppl jump off d building together.?i give 3 out of 5 fr rule1, mainly bcz the main actor is hot..haha:)

aftr dt, went shopping. bought few things. around 5.30pm, took a cab n went straight back home. evnthough i didn't wear heels ds time, my feet stil hurt! dt nite, droppd qyna at hr house. me, my mom n my grandma wnt to bukit raja. shopping n of course,walking agn!by d end of it..all i cn say..ouch, my feet is killing me. pain! need some sleep..zzzz.

-love, belle-

of tourism porfolios

this event happnd yesterday.i was accompanying my mom and my dad. they were playing tennis.while their ohh-so-miserable daughter was basically wandering doing nothing but eating.lapar lapar.so we were heading bac home until suddenly.my mom. goshh she introduced me to the new minister of pelancongan.azalina othman said if m not mistaken.yeahh ive been reading th papers.so she was thrilled to see me? nah she knows me not. so my mom was saying 'this is my daughter from tkc' and she was like 'ohh i see so how was the result?' and then i said 'ohh fine' then she added 'i wish my anak do well in her spm ni mesti you pandai ni kannnnnnnnn' omg. nerd sangat kah penampilanku sebagai seorang remaja.'ohh tak lah mane ade' typical answer.modest me.but seriously she seemed so sad and she said she is not going to talk much about her plan as the new minister.woaa nice nice confession there.i dont knw about her but her sadness is vividly portrayed (well done) on her face and somethg tells me she is sad about th election? gosh.enough said about that. to belle seriously i tak nak balik college.lol. but eventually yeah my parents are sending me as we are all going to mc to see my adik this weekend.mc is having this pathetic open-day.urgh malas malas malas malas.but miss him i do.and yeah to be frank i am very very very very happy and elated to know the truth about the girl. gosh i stayed up doing my homework and end up googling her instead.thaaank you fr saying the word belle.i know you are mean.since you are all geared up to get bac to college i wna remind you to bring along your bday present and camera is neccessary (warning you).hey we should name th pink twart qerik.or darimi.or kamal perv.or pompous.i know kill me kill me belle.

from my lit homework on julius caesar 'this was the most unkindest cut of all'

-qyn

:)

re :)

i am currently in the cafe.with my mom and my dad.watching football with their friends.well they are.i am inside posting this blog and watching them jumping like monkeys as mu made their third goal.liverpool i reckon zero still.terlompat lompat bagaikan kanak kanak ayahku.gosh the embarrassment.ohh well not my problem.win or lose i still think cr is mine.one ear is listening to i melt with you.another one is listening to football.yea i dont watch.i listen.'orang gila je listens to football' said my dad.whatever.

arine

omg!hey you have to bear in mind that mr bear can be reading about the unbearable bearish bear things you wrote in this blog.since you think he is unable to reach th cyber world which is clearly pathetic then why not.write you heart out baby.yea write your heart out.ok this sounds weird but i think i should put up posters and ads on somthg like this 'siapakah jejaka idaman arinah bernama bear ini?adakah kamu orang yang dinanti-nantikan?kamu pasti kamu cukup hebat untuk siti arinah?bolehkah kaki mu muat ke dalam sandal arinah yang usang itu?saksikanlah melodrama terhebat masa kini iaitu mencari princerella!'.sorry if my bahasa sucks.hey you know hw much money we can get by that?laughs.(to be continued as football just finishd and i need to get home by lets see now?).continue.man united won.omg.thaaank you.before i proceed lets put our lungs together and

Glory Glory Man UnitedGlory Glory Man UnitedGlory Glory Man UnitedAs the Reds Go Marching On! On! On!

sorry fr taking yr time ladies and gentlemen.rite as i was saying arine.it is crappish but i just want you to know that bear might not know hw you feel unless you tel him.girls always yearn for security and assurance i know that.but somehow in yr case bear is just so lembap.sighs.so since th world is gauging its changing exteriors where not only man can propose but women can too.i know.its unbelievable.so i say you go go go girl.if you say you want him to stay as friends then be it.but after all those significant signs he showed to you.hmm i dont think so.turn him down.ohh wait thats too evil.give him time lah sayang.act normal.act cool.dont let him get into yr mind.not worth.any man is not worth thinking of.ouch.except bear i suppose?and all subs do not i repeat do not work with me.lets just say i am having fun with my girlfriends and not thinking about him at all.

belle

sorry fr not being able to send yr mod book.and yes you can definitely borrow my dua puluh tujuh dresses.see you tomorrow in front of my gates yea.and yes i cut my hair.to posh.wee.

-qyn

:)

:( Right now, everyone's gone. I'm the only daughter in the house. But no one's fighting with me for the laptop tonight.
I finished One Tree Hill Season 1 today, and my Econs homework (which is really confusing)
Can u imagine, yesterday my mum met her TKC friends at some kenduri, and became so... TKC girl. Ouch! And she went off with her friends. When Kakqilah called that night, my mum sounded so different, Kakqilah made this dramatic what-happened-to-mama exclamation mark that made us all laugh. Haha..now I can imagine her once being a TKC girl. That night, we picked Mama up and ate with Tokwan and a few relatives I don't really know. (Tokwan hhas a wide range of connection) And Tokwan insisted that we accompany him just for a while(that was until 12 actually). But then, he sounded very happy especially when a stream of little cousins showed up too. Yeah, I like seeing Tokwan happy. :)
Realizing that I am much heavier than Abang, I decided to cut down everything I eat by half. And yeah, my apetite kind of decelerate. :) But then Abang convinced me that I'm not fat, so well, I still half the food consumed but my apetite accelerate again. ^_^ Like Tokwan said, "Eat while you can still enjoy doing it" Heheh...
Bapak came back today. This time I got a tshirt from Stanford University-RED. Haha..I like it. I should make a collection of university tshirts, cause, that's basically the souvenir Bapak buys anywhere he goes. This time, Luqman got the special present-a pair of Timberland shoes. And he bought this whole of tshirts from Hollywood, but I ended taking another San Fransisco Tshirt.
Mr Bear? Well, it's complicated. But what I know, it's nice having him again in my life. :) I guess I wouldn't think too much of possibilities, and enjoy the moments with him. What I know, whatever it is, I wouldn't wanna lose him again. Yeah, he really let me see the world from a different angle. And it's good for me. But then I won't hope too much. I mean, life is still long ahead, so why think too much of that? It's good to settle down as friends. Then, there's no breaking ups, and friendship is something that stays. I mean true love is never temporary, so if it's true love, it'll last, right? And well, I guess, haha..Mcs just won't work with me anymore. ^_^ Yeah, Mc Sub is a good distraction:) but then I realized, I just don't wanna think of the things I should be thinking actually. It was fun, can't deny that, he's one interesting character to observe that reminds me a lot of the past, but then I should probably learn to let go the past. :)I don't know if I'm gonna succeed, but I'll try. Hahah..sometimes I think it's funny of me to actually thought of the "substitute" thing. But I guess, my "brilliant" theory of distraction turned out to be invalid, for me. Maybe it would work for Qyn? :P Hahah
I better return to Bismarck and the German Confederation. BYE

one confession

tak nak balik college tak nak balik college tak nak balik college tak nak balik college tak nak balik college tak nak balik college tak nak balik college tak nak balik college tak nak balik college tak nak balik college tak nak balik college tak nak balik college tak nak balik college tak nak balik college tak nak balik college tak nak balik college tak nak balik college tak nak balik college tak nak balik college tak nak balik college tak nak balik college tak nak balik college tak nak balik college tak nak balik collegetak nak balik college tak nak balik collegetak nak balik collegetak nak balik college tak nak balik college tak nak balik college tak nak balik college tak nak balik college tak nak balik college tak nak balik college probably the long break is taking a toll on me.

bele

i have with me here dua puluh tujuh dresses.jangan envy.and thanks fr th very very appeasing indon films.omg.seriously.i hav no idea why i managd to finish al of them without even a morsel of kebosanan.romantic lahh sangat but out of ten i givya five as i felt so disgusted aftr watching two movies wth th same hot-freaky guy and both films portrayd how coward he is when it comes to expressing true love.ouch.lol.but thanks anyway.i shal be going to your house to return th mod book.fyi.i opened only a few pages and end up watching the OC season four instead.gosh bilelah i nak study ni.and finally i think i found my sub.totally not what yr thinking bele.

arine

i really need mr jc's email.cant believe you asked me to search for it tru your beloved U.enough said.and hws mr bear doing?do update us.or is your ohh-so-splendid life being domintd by mcsub already?i wonder still.

-qyn

i'm EXHAUSTED :0

RESTing hours..

this past 2 days hv been very tiring i supppose. for a person who sits at home for 2 long weeks without doin anything at all, evn strolling down d park cn draind ones energy. lets jz say dat what i did ws more than brisk walking n d place; definitely nt peaceful. but, the outcome ws worth-it though :P

i'l tell u guys more bout it in my next post. too tired to write rite nw ;(

-love, belle-

confused

sorry for letting you down.i know hw much you want me to be like them.

this isnt fun.

-qyn

shocked

came across him today.shocked.enough said

my dear arine its ok.i know youre a mummy's girl.too bad you cnt make it.

happy celebrating maulidur rasul

-qyn

When the world turns around 360 degrees :)

Ever met a person who just makes you feel that everything is going to be okay again? I know everyone does, and I know everyone knows the value of it. :) And when you found that person, you'd do anything to make that person stay and always be there in your life.
Why do I fear the presence of that person in my life? Am I just afraid of needing someone else a little too much more than myself? Or probably the fact that someone actually makes me feel so safe? What am I thinking anyway? :)
Today is sure one tiring day. But fun, seeing Tokwan happy. He said so today after we dropped him at his house just a few minutes ago. We accompanied him to his best friend's daughter's house. At first, I felt so lazy, I tried to fake a sickness. But then, at last, I went with them. Although I have to admit I was bored to death, but at the end, I find that it was all worth it.
3 days to go before my dad's return to Malaysia. Poor Bapak, missing the Dr. Arif's ceremony. :) Hahah..Now we have 3 Drs at home. ^_^
Till then

Always,
ARINE

p.s: sorry Belle and Qyn, couldn't go out with u guys. My mum will never let me go that far alone..cause I'm a girl. Ouch! :P

i want you 'oxygen'

a trip to the supermarket nearby can be ohh-so-friggn frustrating.by the way i am currently listening to dikala bulan bermain biola.yeah laugh your lungs out.somebody promotd hujan to me yestrday.hey not bad to be frank.support your local band ppl (omg am i serious).so as i was saying.i hav no idea why but i think my life is occupied with grillions of thgs already.and accompanying my mother to that particular place (surprisingly) is not in my list of imp things to do fr now.ma you knw how much i hate going to that tesco.'qyna your tesco is completely different from tht in london beacause it hs too many pipes around it.what are they for?' said moms friend neta.hell yea like isnt tht obvious.this is malaysia lah sayang.and about the pipes.seriously i have no idea.they are individually huge and i think thats where they hide those missing kids i guess.to cover up my absurd ignorance about that particular matter so i said 'ohh they are used for disposal purposes probably to discrd waste-like-dungs from those marktd animals neta and you know my country inculcates clean environment'.brilliant.nice job qyna.sambil menggeleng-gelengkan kepala aku baru menyedari betapa jahilnya diriku trhadap benda-benda sekecil itu.ohh well i guess i dont really know shah alam.anyhow since i am a good daughter i went there anyways.to tesco.urgh the sight of little kids sulking reminds me of myself.and everywher small children can be seen pushing their pathetic-small trolleys beckoning their mothers and nannies to buy that and buy this take that and take this.so this scene happnd when i ws on the way to purchase some baby yogurts which indeed is my fav 'makanan lembut'.gigi punya pasal.in fact i tiptoed to the small section of the cold icy compartment to avoid anyones attention.

suddenly.

a girl.small nice very cute indeed with her trolley full of chocs.

damn.kantoi beli bende tu.

'apa pandang pandang'

confused.she lookd at me.pointing th neatly arrangd yogurts with her pink-polishd fingies.

'ohhh tak sampai ke adik??'

for once i feel big.wee bit of fun there

'aarghhh tak sampaaaaai'

'ohh nak kene tolong ke??'

evil evil evil

'sikit lagi sikit lagi tu jump jump jump'

ok i was being plain evil.th fact that she was all alone and i bullied her.

fine.

fine.

fine.

'ohh nah nah kakak (sounds weird) take for you'

and so i took hers and mine too and flee.

lari lari lari lari.

from far i can hear puffing laughters
cis tak gune betul.after all i th thgs i did.


my conclusion.do not buy kiddie food when you have bunch of kiddies around you.th result is utter humiliation

my mom spottd me and said

'adikk you helpd that little girl just nw?surprisingly she didnt scream at you'

'ohh aah i did.i know i am good'

yeah wtvr.m stil bad with kids anyways.

and so my mother decides (finally) to buy me a laptop as a present.to make it even she wants to buy herself a new one too.tho i reckon she hs loads of laptops already in hr offce.but my plan is to actualy take over her o2 to replace my miserable looking phone.yeah it 'flew' a couple of times.terplanting terplanting akibatnya dah nak mampos dah handphoneku.then out of a suddn an advert on i phones poppd up and it drew my moms attention.this is it.my one and only chance.'ma why not you buy i phones?' i said promoting th beau looking piece of art to her.'i phones hav th latest features including bla bla bla bla then they also have magnificent bla bla bla'.twenty mins of crapping at last she changed her mind.she's buying it at last.'adik why are you so eager anyway.the i phone is for me yeaaa not for you' she said. 'ohh tak pe tak pe ma then can i have your o2 instead? hehehehe ' within a split second she replied 'nope'

arghh.attempt one.big huge failure.

near her offce was a board.written ther in bold of blacks board of directors and it has witty pictures of 'perasan smart' faces on it.goshh i tot ths peculiar behavior is done only in high school esp if m not mistaken fr the prodction of annual mags where guys (after scrutinizng my brothers' school mags) wud put up their best ala-ala macho faces.lol.golek golek gelak.but my mom hated her picture claiming that it was too cheesy and jumpy plus jolly-looking.ohh rite.'but i think its nice and very beautiful too' i said.'i mean one look at it reminds me of mr ward robinson so happy and younggg'.my mom went berserk she laughd at th same time 'ohh what do you want again? just say it'.my heart stoppd 'ohhh no lah seriously deep from th bottom of my heart your picture looks soo delicate and young mcm muda lah pulak hehe' (sebenarnye i want your o2 lahh ma dont you get it) 'haha you want my o2 is it?' (yeay she undrstans me!) 'if thats th case nope.you go study abroad then i will give you'

damn.attempt two.big big failure.

lets see what i can do tomrw and the next day and the next day and the next and next and next until i get that o2.

-qyn

I Just Need To Type Out Words..

Right now, it's late, and I'm alone in a room that is in a devastated state just like I am :) Hahah. Bapak just went outstation..again. But he's got work as far as USA and well, I think the alarm will ring again tonight. Unless, the regular burglar who used to steal the shoes we purposely put outside for disposal is not patient enough to wait for my lights to go off tonight, or for Luqman to stop watching football. Kakqilah's sick but the doctor tells her to eat ice cream and cold drinks. Mama is as always, tired when coming home, and Abang, being rather pious lately, is anxious for his results. Kakak, too, overworked and her friend who is our temporary occupant probably is sound asleep by now.
I just watched Cheaper By Dozen 2 and well, the last words caught me in the eye, "The hardest thing for a parent to do is letting go." I wonder too. How does it feel for my parents when all of us are growing up and day by day, share less and less things with her. And when we're all away to pursue in our lives, how would she feel coming back to an empty house?
You see, I think I've got two great parents that loves their children and provide us all not just a house, but a home. I'd be scolded if I miss dinner sometimes, cause well, that's basically our quality time together. But sometimes I wonder, what will happen to our family in the future then. I bet Kakak will be marrying soon, she's 24, Abang's gonna be some doctor far from us all, Kakqilah would be going to UK this year, probably I would, next year (if I focus :)) and well, Luqman, I know he'll go far, with such a creative mind and his social skills :)
Bapak once said, "Your family is everything to you, without family you're a nobody. Neglect your family means you're neglecting yourself" and I know his words are really deep. I miss him a lot when he's away. I know everyone does. The part of him buying souvenirs at the Malaysian airport no matter where he goes. It's funny, really. Or probably he'd buy us some university t-shirts and all.
I've been living apart from my family since secondary school, but then I never felt safer, going to sleep at night, knowing, kakqilah's still awake watching Smallville, my parents sleeping soundly next door(and would silently turn the lights off and tuck us in when we fell asleep with the tv and lights on), Kakak, still talking at the phone the other side next door, Abang, probably praying or reading and Luqman, watching football until it's late.
At times I sense some pain, in them, I don't know what or why, but they'd simply hide it under a smile or laughter, and let it off, not talking about it.
And the most important thing is that no matter where I go, I know I'd have a home to go back to. And it's peculiar how a dining table can make you feel so safe when all the chairs are occupied. And I can never forget Tokwan, always looking forward, always keeping the big family together. How he'd chat about politics or suddenly thought of going to Sunway Lagoon, and taking all the rides, with diabetes and many complications in his body. I admire how Tokwan can enjoy life with all the things he have to go through. And not forgetting Embah, our tough grandma, that I can describe in only one word-UNIQUE.
And well, cousins, that are simply FUN to be with. :) Each with their own personality.
I guess, that's why family means a lot to me. Cause I grew up in one that values togetherness more than anything.
:) Sorry Belle and Qyn for filling up with craps about family and stuff..yeah but you girls are right, really, i am a family person. Hahah. Later.

Arine :)

:)

Wo..memories from forum..sweet memories eh?? ^_^ Sometimes I think, life is full of coincidence, but in truth, they're all simply FATE :) I'm watching House currently..and thinking... BELLE, HAPPY BIRTHDAY..am I the only one watching 18SG and 18SX illegally now?? Yeah2..although physically I'm tall..but I am young ^_^..u see today, I accompanied my eldest sister to buy some stuff, and u know that shop girl asked? "Is that your big sister?" I'm like...Do I look older than a person 7 years older than me??

By the way, Belle, you know, if u wanna enter kick boxing after Easter, I bet u'd get Christina as company. Tun Razak is postponed..I heard. :)

And Qyn..whatever u do..u know we'll support u..but well..things will never be the same if one of us goes missing rite??

Anyway, Mr Bear finally emailed me today. Well, I figured that he stopped emailing not bcoz of that email we agreed to send, but he was caught in an accident. He blacked out in the middle of his journey home by a bicycle..and hospitalised for as long as that. Happy? Yeah. Mc Sub? Hmm, well...^_^ but then after a few hours I figured out I still need him for distraction. Cause well, I admit life had been dissappointing when Mr Bear suddenly shut up like that, but then, when he reappeared after that "temporary" leave, I guess things will never work out the way I want it to be.

Because who emails u for three years and simply ignores a message with your phone number, unless he takes it as "friends"? Yeah, maybe I should learn to accept reality..:) Those things will never happen^_^ Right? Maybe I got a little used to his absence already, although it really sucks sometimes.

But probably, this time, Mc Sub wouldn't help that much. Maybe I should start facing "it" rather than inventing a Mc Sub along the way. Haha..now Qyn I understand why substitutes never work when you really like a guy. :)

yeahh we were bad arses

was finding my lit cambitch book and boomm.a notebook fell on my head.it says there on its miserable cover.

looking ahead.

an international forum on

education assessment system.

ministry of education.

ohh ala.i thought i thrw you already.so yeahh.we went for the forum and that includes arine and belle.nazi and also atol.

nice grab nazi.i heart this picture.

belle looking happy.i know.youre eager to see him on stage.obv.

'haa inilah kerja budak budak zaman sekarang keluar sana keluar sini tak ingat donia' said my history class teachr.she hates the idea of student skipping classes well basically her precious-fascinating-eye opener classes.esp when it comes to 'ini arahan pn pengetua dan budak budak ni mmg kena pergi lahhh cikgu' my saviour spoke.mr salleh who enjoys the idea of student skipping classes.he is one heck of a teacher.sayang kamu cikgu.so of you go then.'ohh esok exam physics dohhh'.said atol as i recalled.then all the way to sunway we read and read and read and read and read.seriously nothing went through my head.i remembered nazi explaining the concept of npn and pnp to me over and over again.'ohh ok ok so when bla bla bla then the electrons go bla bla bla' and then there were 'ohh whats it called again? ohh aah laa.eh eh apa apa lagi skali lagi skali' and then there were 'tido ar jom'.well basically all of us studied at th eleventh hour.nerds.mereka mereka lah bukan saya.so there we were standing in the middle of the forum hall.realising that there were also some other school we walked gingerly passed them to avoid their attention.yeahh rite like thats gna work.someone went 'haihhh sekolah lain tak ade ke dari kuala kangsar ke' ohh ok.i laughed so bad.tergolek-golek i recalled.whatever it is focus girls.focus.focus.it was an international forum by moe.very impressive but shockingly nobody infrmd us to pack our clothes for the one night stay.ohh that part was unplanned.i recalled wearing a huge non fitting elephant size kurung for th formal dinner.arine really knows best.esp when it comes to chosing th right size for me to don.yea thanks a lot.i mean a lot.well we didnt hav much choices and wearing her lenghty garments is the only and only solution.'macam baju kelawar lahhh arine'.i look like a junky crapy diminished rejected jollydoll.and all in all it was a great night.more or like spidey night to me.laughs.yeahh you girls know what i mean.malam malam berclubbing dan berdansa tatkala bulan masih bersinar megah bak kata arinah malam masihh muda la girls.and to the sunway pyramid we went.laughs.as i said it was unplanned.the principal is so gna kill us if she knows.it was the vp's idea.

- qyn

i'm 18!!..hooray..;p

sorry QYN for nt updating my blog for a while...

hv been busy at my beloved kg ds couple of days. well, yeah..last friday,went back to my kg in malacca aftr such a long time. almost all my uncles, aunts n cousins were there..since it's holiday n plus, there's a small occ goin on ;some sort of mjlis kesyukuran..i think. happy to be wit d whole family,esp my lil' cousins..actually all of them are younger than me. i'm nt d eldst btw, i'm d third but my eldr cousins are abroad (in ireland n d other one in indonesia..). acting as d big sis, nt dt hard..naah, so not true! i did try my best to fit in d crowd...so let see : 1.played cars wit iskandr, nami n ayed, 2.hv to make tonnes of expressions jz to please nisha, 3.watchd cartoons all dy long..hmm..wat else???couldn't think of any rite nw. BUT, i did try okay evnthough it didn't wnt dat well. overall, hanging wit them ws kinda fun.

BACK TO majlis kesyukuran thingy..
saturday nite, aftr maghrib prayer. my mama n baba (my grandprents btw;) called few of their closest friends..including their ustaz along wit hs family. it ws jz a small occ, quite closed n wit small crowd. my mama prepared d whole thing by hrself..nasi briyani n nasi jagung, delicious!! GOOD JOB, MAMA! startd of by reciting d zikir n doa at d end of course...then, d lst part ws just eat!! i along wit neddy, aisyah n hanisah n wit d helpd of my uncles hv to cleand up d place..only at dt moment, i realised there's someone else helping us too. GUESS WHO?? they r ustaz's sons..hw kind of em'...hehe..n they r good looking too!(excited...:)


and then comes....

d birthday party!!


wasn't like wat i expectd at all. thought would be jz like usual..oh yeah, evry year, i celebratd my bday wit baba n iskandr (reason : they r born in march too...)fair enough for me..i guess. my mom bought a bluberry cheese cake from my fav shop dt evening. since then iskandr kept bugging me ;

is : kak la, ble nk potong cake ni?
me : kjp je lg..tunggu sume org blk dulu..

few minutes later...

is : kak la, kluarkn la cake 2 dr fridge..nk celebrate bday.
me : sabar..kjp je lg.

my attempt failed. he kept coming back...at last, i gt an idea.

is : cpt la kluarkn cake..
me : kak la x lh kluarkn..tnyla auntie bedah,die yg beli cake 2.

haha..finally, he ws off my feet. poor ibu, hv to layan iskandr. sorry, but i couldn't stand it anymore. okay, d celebration..

mama then kindly asked ustz n hs family to join d celebration..owh,hw nice..but wat would d party be like, wit pious ppl attnding d thing, i thought...hmm...it would b awkward to sing d bday song, yup definitely awkward! plus, i heard baba said something like this to mama ;

baba : lilin ni sume simpan..x yah gne la, ade ustz..

i guess he ws embarrassed....cz he stil clebrate hs bday every year wit cake n candles...it's nrmal la,baba...hehe.
called d whole family to gather in d dining area. iskandar ws so excited wit baba, as they stand in front of d cake..well,me..hiding in d kitchen(no comment on dt..)so wat's nxt,bday song...so not...blowing d candles..as i said earlier, no candles at all. ustz n hs sons start brselawat instead..awkward moment again. but all of us followed em'. aftr d selawat, ustz recitd d doa..step back, n my family sang d bday song(malay vrsion..weird). it ws so soft n nt d usual excited-ppl-singing-d-bday-song-in-eng vrsion like we did evry yr.hehe..funny though as i watchd fr d kitchen. comes d cutting cake part, suddenly they startd calling my name aftr realising i wsn't there..i thought ,$#*@..nw i hv to face ustz n hs good looking sons..ashamed,but wnt out instead. while cutting d cake, i sw iskandr sitting quitely...y iskandr is so quiet??he's d one who ws so damn excited bout d party. i guess he must be in d state of shock..well,we all do. to sum it up, i jz cn say dat it was a vry "diff" bday clebration but yet vry nice n calmd.







-love, belle-

of candles and cakes

belle.i finally reckon why you textd me yestrday.you wna keep th wishes coming i suppose.laughs.well i forgot to wish you on time.12oo.was busy.anyways happy bitrhday to you my dear.its too bad your face is currently clean.to be specific not caked or whippd with egg yolk.wee bit of happiness there.but dont be too happy.you know i will get you this time.just wait and see.ohh i suggest you get ready.and be prepared.embrace yourself.i hav with me the master of all birthday pranks.watch your back.

'the year 18 myth' is the commonly held belief that when individuals reach their 18th birthday not only are they fully matured adults.but that they are fully

capable

of living on

their

own.

-Mark Kroner.MSWDirector.self-sufficiency.

lighthouseyouthservices

well belle.have a great one.hope you like the gift.and

of crs the hot booti-licious mccricky card :)

-qyn