one-faced brother

can you make any other

facial expression adik?

no.

bosan lah you ni

snap snap snap

hey i think we should stop

aah la weh they might

think we're total retards

but we are total retards.

my brother tho i often

misjudge you at times

(well most of the time)

you are so right this time.

yes you are but not me.

(with bengang face) papelah

belooooooved sister.

haha. i win. loser.

thanks for the tiring lovely evening adik.told you i am the best ultimate advisor cum love therapist. sheeesh. now i really know you have problems with her.haha. and you've grown up so much.i barely recognise you just now.i miss th-ole-grumpy ijal.mckk taught you good i guess.but hey you can tell me almost everythg. sayang kau kedot bengot (:

Rain...rain..don't stop: )

Moving steady. Sometimes, when you just don’t want some matters to catch up with you, you just run so fast, until you know nothing could catch up with you. And when you’re tired of running, you’d just stop and face it. It’s not the matter of how far you run, but how long it takes for you to stop. And most of the time, you’d find comfort in places you least expect to, probably because you just don’t expect.
Days had been funny for me. Today’s the weirdest. My dream and real life actually connected. But anyway, I see loads of important dates on my list. I don’t know how I would cope. This week, again, full of surprises. I surprise myself a lot in this place, contradicting to how I never surprise myself back at tkc. I never figured out why. Recent one is applying to Oxford, with a combination of History and Economics, and well..at St John? I don’t know if I can make it, but seriously, I really like that combination. Funny, the first time I ever thought of applying to Oxford with Nazi years ago, I actually picked Physics and Philosophy. Now, it’s totally different. I should give the credit to Christina for actually making me think twice about Oxford, and that evening Nazi and I surfed the web together to search about Oxford. I’m not running from this-I’m glad of that.
And today’s a blast, although I thought it would be a bad day at first. Qyn and I played under the rain today and we ended up doing more funny stuff at the toilet, when the lightning starts striking. But hey, if you’re thinking of a therapy, mark my words, playing in the rain is the best I ever went through. Right Qyn? You should try it :P No dissappointments. Guarantee! ^_^

belle

this is belle.

she drinks hot milk.

susu lembu panas = hot cow milk

sangatlah tak enak

dia nak study

jadi dia minum susu itu

dia minum susu panas

susu lembu yang panas

dia tak minum nescafe

macam org lain

sebab belle

gila.

haha.

nowhere but here

oh belle.pornstar is your ambition.not me.
your post is so bloody interesting : ther's
me in it as the pop main character. haha
found out that eventually some of us are
leaving too including good bio-chem mate
has to india.cf to us.wen hui to france and
d to us.maybe i should do the same.but is
it too early to decide? and nz-aussie aint
that bad either if you think back.ok ok ok
waiting is the best solution.and waiting is
bodoh.i hate waiting.waiting.waiting.still.
-tetibe je lagu belle ni terpasang-

''everyday
with every
worthless
word
we get more
far
away.
the

distance

between

us

makes

it

so

hard

to stay

but

nothing lasts forever

but

be

honest

babe

it hurts
but
it may
be

the

only

way''

stupid song stupid lyrics stupid adam.


eventually everything is stupid when youre mad

eventually everything is stupid when youre mad

eventually everything is stupid when youre mad

eventually everything is stupid when i am mad.

oggy is a CAT la..

hooray!!
i finished my first semester exam!happy but...all i cn say,physics sucks!~ hahahhaahaha *crazy* ive been sleeping just fr a few hours these past few days *dizzy* worth it i dont know.dah la malas fikir.ok lets move on to the funniest story qyna told us...well it was just a prank..no its not a prank actually its true..but somehow it went out of hand and a story is viewed differently by different ppl..qyna is actually going to us and on that wonderful day: all 4 of us (shen-v-arine-me) happen to have no class and we were free! our imagination ran so stupidly wild -one thing leads to another.ok the thing is we called qyna and told her that 'oggy' fell ^.^

our view..
oggy refers to the cat adopted from college and christina hs been feeding her ever since..we told qyna that oggy fell frm the stairs kt cafe..with blood covering all over the floor..ewe,gross.plus,it was abuse by the burger dude i suppose.it ws terrible watching oggy taking her last breath.huhu~ok,we might hv exaggerated the story a bit to qyna.but it's true though..the cat is dead!

however,
qyna's view..
she thought that we were talking about a specific person in this college.haha.maybe it's bcause of our stupendous description.but qyna, hw cn u cme up with such idea, i wonder.hmm.

the consequences..
since that person is in the same committee as qyn's, she was cnfused.she messaged 'j' to cnfirm the story.'j' ws clueless, so she tried calling that-person-who-apparently-hs-the-same-name-as-our-cat. he didn't answer. worried n concerned..'j' called 'a',n then coincidently that person ws beside 'a' n so he askd 'a' to lie bringing more juices to the story-aftr claiming that indeed he fell and he ws uncncious. i think after that 'j' and 'z' went to the sickbay but eventually it was close.aftr a while 'j' claimed that she saw the person playing football in the field.and still 'j' was concern and confuse at the same time *pening*

we heard the news only after qyna went to their chalet to drop some souvenirs..and so we laughed like hell because it was so funny! gila betul lah kan qyn? but still we are sad fr the death of our one and only cat -oggy '^.^

the real truth..
well we didnt actually lie to qyn..but the truth is the cat really hd a freaky accident that almost hd us crying on our knees.haha..well actually the cat died after a car collision which unfortunately happend outside the girls chalet. haha! a simple lie leads to a big chaos and now qyn is so pissed off she emits a certain kind of vapour from her ears..hehe...jgn marah ye qyn..u're hot like a children pornstar, nnt dh tak porn-ny.haha. (:

p/s: i want house, now!

-love, belle-

when babi hurts

good morning.well its almost 530 am and as i told you before.i cant sleep.i notice i am the only one who's still standing after hours of movies and gg series.biaselah tu exam dah habis.wait until the results are out.at least some of us will be mourning to death (especially those who didnt get the chance to study after two freakening weeks of science talk and nil amount of knowledge) and they say the admin is pretty flexible but all they can come up is a 'd o y o u r b e s t w e u n d e r s t a n d' speech.easy for you to say when youre not the one having severe jet lags and bone crushing mouth watering hempas pulas stay ups just to pass the exams.maybe thats too much of information.pagi pagi buta aku dah emo.anyhow something strucked me today and i realised i didnt mention to them about the funniest story happened in the us.one of my friend cum kecoh minah mate has an aunt visiting the us and she boarded a bus full of blacks.somehow i think she was a little bit pissed about something but who cares (nobody cares) and so-

her : babi babi betul

diorang ni kan.

niece: kenape plak?

her : bas bapak punye

luas tak nak duduk!

menyempit je! dah la

kite ni kecik-kecik!

blablablabla

-and once they get out of the bus-

a black man: urmmm bole tepiii

sikit takkk ini babi

mau lalu.

if i was on her shoes i would run my butts out before anything else happen.so the moral of this sickening story is to never say bad things using native languages (after making pretty intelligent assumptions that they might not comprehend you) go get a life people.go bullshit somewhere else where people cant hear you.well regardless where youre living now to be exact : overseas or in the country better yet in a small hutan compound you call a college.i imagine using the word babi in my daily conversation 'hey you babi so whats up?' or 'good morning babi' or 'going to the rc babi?' and i am pretty sure the answer will be 'yes i am good so how are you?' and my reply 'oh i am fine.so babi are you eager to watch the football match tonight?' belle i think its preferable if you say 'hello babi' instead of 'hello sayang?' oh ok i think i went a little bit too far.the counterattacks might be some severe punches and prolong bleeding due to massive head bangs.or probably a sweet-minimum impact time smack in the face.ouch.well its absurdly late and i think my head is getting all babi-ish now.i will try to shower deep into the sacs of fairy dust hopefully i can have a good night sleep.or is it morning?oh well dont care no papers tomorrow.night babi(:

Sometimes there are matters that you just can't portray in words. And when you turn back to the One, and tell Him your fears, somehow, He gives you the solution you never thought of. :) And I'm so grateful to the Almighty for granting my prayers.
I never really wanted that person to know. I just wanted to keep everything to myself. He reminded me too much of who I used to be and sometimes, he reminds me of Suhe'. If I were to like him, I just want to like him from afar.Probably because I fear that I might distract his istiqamah of devoting to Him, and there are more important commitments that should be thought of rather than this. Partly, because I know next semester, I'll have to take care of somebody. And I don't want anything or anyone to interfere. I have responsibilities and the hearts of people I care about to think of. I can't betray all that. And of all things, I still had this promise to myself, I have to find Allah's love first before anyone's. But then, I can't put away the feelings, cause Allah said Himself in the Quran, it's the fitrah of being a homo sapien:) He created love as a gift for humans. But it's never right when you love the gift more than the One who gave it in the first place right?
I owe him a thanks, for not responding:) Supposedly, I should feel sad, but I don't know why, I don't feel a thing besides this calmness in me, that had been absent for quite a long time. And today, after months, I woke up with a smile. ^_^ I know I'd never say this to you but, yeah, THANKS. I owe you big time.

dyra

dear dyra
i am actually replying your post in your blog.
well since i think you are partially interested
to know more about this hectic life ive been
living.here goes;just got back from atl usa
and i am having exams now and i am still
experiencing severe jet lag that results in
wrong sleep-timing.and i hate having those
exams as you know lah as usual i am not
fully prepared and i am still considering
about mara scholarship and i feel so ulu
living here in the forest(: so ive browsed
tru your beau pictures and came across
some fun ones ie trekking and more
trekking with razi meen and some lads.
woah life has been active is it hun?
good for you.i am elated on your behalf since
you quote 'i was never happy in my life'
giggles.hey you should try meditating.
and stop being so miserable dyra.
you have good friends:good enviro:
good bf too i suppose.and good ole me(:

i told you before

omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg!
told you i cant s l e e p.
its aproximately 345.
for the past three days
my sleepless nights compounded
this utter craziness and i cant take
that anymore.shit.how am i suppose
to answer my exams tomorrow.





maybe ive been aggravating my probs
by taking coffee just now.bodoh betul.
tell me how do i dissuade myself from
drinking too much rich heavy-caffeine?
i command you to sleep wahai kepala!
sleep.gosh what is it that you just cant
u n d e r s t a n d ?
maybe i should stop.now i am worried
about myself.qyna has gone goo goo
actually am i just worried about that -

nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm


nak pegi ke tak ppm

















aku dapat award (:










rase macam bangang pagi-pagi buta pukul empat
tulis blog.after many abortive attempts i am
trying to close my eyes shut again and sleep.

aku nak tidur

feel like there's nothing much to write

still tired and my head is not right atm

a friend received a scholarship fr french

engineerg and he is going out from uem

anytime soon.tot him french and he will

buy me lunchies in th cafe.that i will go

oh farking stressing hungry sleepy giddy dizzy raining vomitting jet lagging

these are the consequences when your brain is confuse with the new time.

with th exams and th stupid idol result.

i hate david cook.

i hate chemistry.

i hate the fact that

i cant sleep at all

stupid jet lag.

I lost my bracelet Mama gave me between Maths and Islamic Studies. I really like that one bracelet. But when I came early before afternoon classes started, I couldn't find it. Someone may think it's just some lame bracelet on the floor. It doesn't look that valuable cause the red diamonds somehow went off. It's been with me since I was 13. I tried searching everyday since that day I lost it, but it's nowhere to be seen. It's weird, but I really want it back. Today, Kakak bought me this hair band with a red rose on it. And suddenly I remembered that bracelet. It's the one rare birthday present mama ever gave me. Down :( I hope one day I'd get it back. I don't know why today I keep thinking of the bracelet. Probably cause it reminds me of how much mama loves me. And when I get angry with her, I'd look at the bracelet and tell myself how much she loves me. I'm so bad of taking care of things, especially the ones dear to me. And I always wish I'd find the things back, but then I never do. :) I guess this one won't too.

ATL : day eight

dear.

the whole event ended at approximately one in the afternoon.we said our goodbyes and took pictures for the very last time.my good friends jim and savannah from south carolina seemed sad to see me go.they are certainly adorable.i am elated and my feelings cant be described in words.i really enjoyed my time here and it was brilliant.we were practically free that afternoon.and we certainly had plenty of time to shop.went to the big city to finish up whatever that was left in my wallet.so we crashed in victoria's secret and banana republic instead.shop and shop and shop until one of us started to make severe jokes.overheard a familiar song in one of the stores

i want you to want me

i need you to need me

i love you to love me

i beg you to beg me

and a recognised one too

shorty had them apple bottom jeans

boots with the fur

tralalalala

(and then came my favourite part)

them baggy sweat pants and

the reeboks with the straps

tralalalala

aku poyo tatkala aku teramatlah bosan.

meet jim-he looks like ashton

marta

ATL : day seven

'' making my way down town

walking fast faces past and im homebound

tralalalalalalalala''

dear.

we had an award ceremony last night and some special forces of organisation and universities awarded some scholarship to the students.i hoped for it and eventually i didnt get one.all is good and i am sure it happens for a reason.but one representative from malaysia-syed a boy from mara managed to get a scholarship from the national collegiate inventors and innovators alliance/the lemelson foundation.an outstanding ovation was given to him and the malaysian flag was flying up so high that rolling balls of tears streamed down his cheeks-tears of glory.yes i made that part up and he didnt cry dont worry.well congratulations to him.i am happy to be apart of his triumph.well first of all he managed to get mara scholarship earlier than all of us and he has an offer to pursue medicine in russia this coming september.secondly he has now another offer to pursue engineering in the united states but if he decline this particular offer the money from this foundation can still be claimed and the whole massive amount is about 10,000 dollar equivalent to approximately 30,000 ringgit malaysia.he is one lucky guy and that is why he should be a prominent topic for today's post.i havent congratulate him in person but i think i will stay away from him for a while.let him mesmerize his unforgettable moment.i reckon he will be a rock star when we get home.

congratulations to my devoted fellow educators and to the whole delegate who manage to make this dream a reality.

malaysia - one awarded scholarship and second runner up for the best breakthrough research

Extreme:)

This week had been..over the limits. Quoting Daughtry, "Be careful of what you wish for, cause you just might get it all."
Exams are just around the corner. And adding to that, History is the first paper. Ouch. I have to get other matters out of my mind. I think I've been experiencing something that is a little too much within little time. It's like Julius Caesar. Suddenly everything goes out of control.
I want to be like China in the late nineteenth century. Minus the part of being exploited. And get matters that are in my head, and shouldn't be, out of my mind. Why is some unnecessary stuff just occupying my mind and refusing to go out?
Anyway, this empty big house is really making everything......empty. I guess I need the people to make it..home. :) But it's conducive to study. And why am I still writing this blog? :)
Bye..later:)


p.s: Qyna, yeay..you're coming back :) You knw, Belle's been living at L7 since you left. :P

ATL : day six

cupcakes and everything nice (and cheap)

spotted.syahrina van de archuleta in a night club

xoxo

gopoh girls.


atlanta at night

dear.

its forking boring over here.i cant reach my brother at all and i am hungry.well the conference should end by tomorrow night.all is great over here and i am still meeting some new friends form new york and missouri and minnesota and some very shy guys from japan and sudan.i cant upload all of the pics because there are too much of them.i think yesterday was the most significant night as we had a student mixer session where practically well, we mix with each other.theres the normal clubbing going on and i reckon they trully accentuate it over here.but i dont dance when someone came up to me and said 'hey do you wna dance?' and briefly i replied 'i dont dance honey sorry' but there are several occasions when i met some muslim friends from the states and shockingly they are very devoted and i respect them for that.at noon we went shopping again which is the most tiring part of all.missing all of you and frankly its awesome baby!

Day 6:When ICT class is cancelled :P

Hey, I just rushed to the IT lab, and halfway, someone told me, "ICT starts next week." Great, I should have continued my nap just now. But anyway, one word to describe today..TORTURING. And Belle and Shen are really not helping by making it all obvious. Yeah, yeah. They think I should leave it all to fate. But the problem is, I'm freaking out like..I don't know. Well, my determination of avoiding everything is like..a total failure. And today I got a lot of people asking me, "How was Teacher's Day?" with this I-know-your-secret-smile. Since when does the whole world knows? Well, people found out about Belle, it's not that mysterious how mine went out too. Screw it.
Qyn, miss u :) come back for lit class, that someone is sitting at your place and it's really freakingly torturing. And seriously, Wordsworth will make you mad. ^_^

ATL : day four and five

dear.

one word.wow.i heart all your pictures belle.especially -you know what- hey who says he cant be a man?i made acquaintance with a guy name jim.he looks like ashton no seriously i am not joking.i am tired and i ate nothing but mnm cupcakes and salty pretzel.tired and i have severe major conflagration of sore throat at the moment.i reckon that your love alters fast without me around to control it.why the hell are you falling for whaimy?he is.he is.i have no particular word for her i mean him.maybe blank-faced boy?well update me more when i get back.i am moving out to get some fillet now.at least that can definitely fill in some space in my oh-so-empty stomach.take good care.i miss you too ed.hey he misses me?one thing for sure life is better with you guys around.i miss the screams and the water-talk.awesome baby!

lembah beringin : day five

dearest QYN
day five; not bad at all..

TEACHER'S DAY celebration...
no doubt it ws fun. both performances by d teachers n students were a blast! it's almost d same as what we did in college last time. where d teachers imitated d students. n it ws indeed hilarious watching them being soo childish. nice one, teachers! there were dikir barat n rap performance by 2 seniors (sani & irfan). one word~cool~.haha. no need to say much, let d pictures guide u thru d whole event.

before performance startd :
so boring. startd taking random pictures.*wink*




perfomance by d teachers. they really cn act..

dikir barat n rap song dedicated to d teachers*weeee*

by d end of it, christina n shen took a picture with d emcees of d nite.*giggles*

p/s : missing you!

-love, belle-

ATL: day three

dear.

we went to high art museum and the botanical garden.it was fun but i miss home already and i am looking forward to go back.if you notice the pictures i was cam-whoring alone.i reckon that i am the only one who does that here.i had fever last night resulting in another failure to show up during another event.all is good and we still havent locate a nice bistro with halal food around.so ive been munching on some cookies and maggie and drinking saturated caffeine for three days straight.i should have listend to arine and brought along some brahim.we will be heading to hard rock tomorrow.hope i can find somethg nice there.missing you guys still.take care.awesome baby!

lembah beringin : day three & four

QYN
nothing much happend n thats d reason why i'l sum them up in one post. well, let's see, on monday...
' i dumped him ' haha..no laa, i'm just done with him. after considering everyone's advice, i'v made my final decision. screw him. this time it's for real.*GAME OVER*.because someone told me

"that

love

means letting go"

i'm trying my best nw but it's hard when he keep giving unappropriate, misleading signs. one thing, i'm nt a good interpreter..i'l end up with wrong conclusion anyways.haha. why am i being nice here? *blank(maybe cause i'm hungry)*hope he is happy with dt be***.

arine, on d other hand is getting all d attention from mcsub. but soo pelik, she is nw trying damn hard to avoid him.wtv.haha. i tell you what, mcsub really wants to know who's d mystery girl is??haha..better let it be a secret. arine should says: "thats d only secret i'll nvr reveal.XOXO.gg"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

tuesday. i'm tired of waiting. n i found out dt he told his best friend about me. sucks, i knw! they kept smiling at me like 'kerang busuk' d entire time. i'v move on to mcwaym. he is HOT!plus, he looks like nathan oth.*blushing*.basketballez roxx dude!..haha..arine n mcsub is meant to be. so, arine, stop avoiding him, you will see him jugak. enough on d opp sex. we went swimming as usual. water talk agn but with shen this time. it's nt d same without you.huhu:( less 'bising'. thats it. i will update you later k.

p/s: it's nt love. thats why it is sooo hard to let go...haha.

-love, belle-

Day 2- The Curve :)

Waking up on a Sunday-with your parents not at home, thousands of miles away. So what do u end up doing? Movies and cheesy pizzas, also nt forgetting spaghetti and lasagna. (a set of my fave dish) :P followed by donuts and ice cream. Right2. It's a long time since the five of us went out together, and when will be the next time, is so uncertain. :p I mean, Kakak's going to marry soon, then Abang will be busy with his houseman thing, Kakqilah's going to Bristol this september, and me, in lembah beringin, with Luqman joining this July. I guess, that's what it takes to grow up..no wonder Mama doesn't like this part ^_^

ATL : day two

kosmo 10th may 2008

dear.

i love the video!such nice anthem and i hope that encourages you to sing during assemblies.the voice is so-so but certainly melodious baby.well i have trouble waking up and sleeping at the right time as my brain is a little bit mixed up.so as result i missed two great events and i will never forgive myself for doing so.the temperature is getting low and the wind is cracking up my feet causing severe ulcers everywhere including my mouth.darn it.the kids here are nice and i wish you guys are here.they came from all over the world and i certainly made some new hot-mat salleh friends.its really great to meet these young scientists and to finally collaborate ideas and visions regarding the world and its changing exteriors in science and technology.but as usual the sweet-talk on science didnt last that long and we ended up chatting on new series of gossip girls and oth and grey's anatomy.teenagers will always be teenagers.i believe here in atlanta they are engrossed with ga and they watch crime scene investigations every single time.to belle i will reply your msgs once i get the money as you know it is very costly.one thing about attending this conference is everyone looks up to everyone and if you claim that youre form malaysia they will definitely recognise our country for its traditional cooking and batik.

''i am from malaysia''

''woah cool dude.thats like totally awesome.

and i really like your food man coz its like so spicy and hot.

you know what i mean dude?

and of course i love the awesome material.

urmm what is it called again? batek? batak?''

'hahahahaha

(batak mat salleh ni panggil? cis tak gune)

its called batik and they are certainly famous

(i dont even wear one)''

''oh ya batik thats cool man.

its awesome really.

awesome dude.

awesome!awesome!''

yes they love our country and if you notice they like to emphasise on the word ''awesome'' that explains why i am accentuating it in my daily conversation.for now.i have to go my dear.i have a bus waiting for me.we are going to watch a cultural performance today.missing all of you still.take good care.again i cant believe i am that close to david archuleta.awesome baby!

i quote christina 'stop and stare'

huge

souv hunting

he was excited

wishing mom happy mothers day

sial